I’ve found a wonderful comic about a month ago called Malfunction Junction. It is incredibly witty, and hilarious. The author went back to college and hasn’t posted anything new since April, so I’ve been combing through 3 years of archives, and I came across quite a jewel today about Creation Science:

Matt Milby is fucking hilarious! I’m really sad he doesn’t write them anymore.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brandon-condrey/2717987389/

People amaze me, they get stupider by the hour. Watch this video, watch the whole thing:

Really?! Being a christian is like being being stabbed with forks and electrocuted?! That has solidified my atheism fo shiz. It’s also worth noting in the last seconds of the video Grandpa John says “don’t try this at home”, does he mean Christianity or torturing vegetables? If you read all the comments, there isn’t a single one that sticks up for this poor bastard, I hope he doesn’t run a church…

Louisiana has joined the ranks of the moronic, ignorant, and divisive in epic fashion. Recently passed by the Louisiana state congress, the Louisiana Science Education Act (LSEA) gives local school boards sweeping powers to present, nay, powers to require local schools to “use supplemental textbooks and other instructional materials to help students understand, analyze, critique, and review scientific theories in an objective manner”. The theories up for review? Evolution, and global warming. Why don’t we objectively talk about the separation of church and state and how with a little legalese, you can completely subvert it. Subversion which just so happens to be written (and I mean the bill was written) by fellows of The Discovery Institute, a so-called “think tank” of pseudo-scientists based in the all-too-liberal town of Seattle. If I lived there, I know where I would defecate every day.

The nuts and bolts of this bill are that teachers will be confusing the young minds of Louisiana by tricking them into thinking that evolution is an unsupported theory with little evidence and even less backing from reputable scientists. Which, in fact, is quite the opposite of evolution. Evolution is widely accepted, and more and more of the gaps in the fossil record that the creationists rely on are filled in every god damn day. I really feel for the science teachers in that state that aren’t mentally retarted, it will degrade them inside and out to have to teach this dribble drivel (but as sloot points out, drool or drivel, both are bad). Not to mention, that with the precedent in Dover, there will be lawsuits filed immediately and statewide by the parents who care enough to save their children from the lies. The sweetest part of the deal is that the “supplemental textbooks” used to betray fact, are written and printed by…you guessed it, The Discovery Institute. Why don’t we call up one of those fucktards and ask them the age of the earth? How ’bout that? I think it may be a tad bit older than 6,000 years….FUCK MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS HIGH RIGHT NOW!

The most ironic of it all? Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal was a biology major when he attended Brown. How sad and pathetic is that? He even graduated with honors, and his former genetics professor called him up to ask him to veto the bill, he politely declined.

He either can’t read or he was paid off, no self respecting biologist believes this shit…

I, BRANDON CONDREY, HEREBY PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER LIVE IN LOUISIANA, PARTICULARLY WHEN MY CHILDREN WILL BE IN SCHOOL.

I just went on a whirlwind of the internets, somehow all related in one way or another to the fanatical whimsies of those crazy people with bibles. And I do mean the crazy ones, Sloot defends religion when he gets a chance, he identifies himself as a Catholic (no wonder why he likes little boys ), but I doubt he would approve of or partake in the following:

First off is an article from Rolling Stone written by Matt Taibbi regarding his undercover infiltration of a southern evangelical church. This is obviously a far cry from my reality, and I doubt any of my religious friends (the 1 or 2 of you out there) would ever submit to such an exercise, but goddamn is it a good read! Incidentally, he turned that story into a book called The Great Derangement.

Moving along we have a post from the Boing about an offensive radio ad in which non-christians are told to “sit down and shut up” when they enter a car dealership. Here is the entire transcript of the ad:

[”Did you know that there are people in this country who want prayer out of schools, “Under God” out of the Pledge, and “In God We Trust” to be taken off our money?”]

“But did you know that 86% of Americans say they believe in God? Since we all know that 86 out of every 100 of us are Christians, who believe in God, we at Kieffe & Sons Ford wonder why we don’t tell the other 14% to sit down and shut up. I guess I just offended 14% of the people who are listening to this message. Well, if that is the case then I say that’s tough, this is America folks, it’s called free speech. None of us at Kieffe & Sons Ford is afraid to speak out. Kieffe & Sons Ford on Sierra Highway in Mojave and Rosamond, if we don’t see you today, by the grace of God, we’ll be here tomorrow.”

Needless to say, it raised a few eyebrows in the blosophere. The boing has a blurb about the owner of the car dealership not approving the message, apologizing, and admitting that he doesn’t go to church, but that he’s a “Christian spirit”. Here is the article run in the car dealership’s local paper regarding his apology for the ad, and the overwhelming WORLDWIDE negative response received. The ad was actually written by a man calling himself JW Horne. After all the publicity his little shitty ad got, he started a blog so he could defend his ill educated ass: JW Horne blog. The man has been writing radio spots for 30 plus years, and his entry there is full of horrible misspellings and grammatical pitfalls. How can he make a living like that, being as dumb as he is? But by far, the best part are the comments on that blog, as of this writing there are 68 of them, and I read them all. The people that commented on the blog were both atheist and christian, not a SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF THEM posting in support of Mr. Horne’s crappy sense of marketing. Some of them give supporting links, mostly to the constitution because Mr. Horne claims that America was founded on god, and quotes the constitution as such, when in actuality the constitution never mentions god, and they tear him apart man. But even better, he replies to the criticism in the comments at least 3 times, and he grows dumber by the post! (here is a PDF backup of that post, I think he might grow tire of being defamed soon…)

So, just for fun I googled the guy’s advertising company and found this profile on Yahoo’s Business Directory. There is one customer review touting the company that “does business according to the rules of the good book”. Little does JW Horne know, that doing business by the good book includes having employees that never wear clothes that are blends of wool and linen (Leviticus 19:19), and you can’t charge interest on loans! (Deuteronomy 23:19)

Yes! In addition to good fiction, the bible is also good for burning the idiots that probably haven’t read it! (and for the record, I have read it cover to cover, it was considerably longer than IT).